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奥普拉在斯坦福大学2008毕业典礼上的演讲


奥普拉在斯坦福大学 2008 毕业典礼上的演讲[中英文对照] Thank you, President Hennessy, and to thetrustees and the faculty, to all of the parents and grandparents, to you, the Stanford graduates. Thank you for letting me share this amazing day with you. I need to begin by letting everyone in on a little secret. The secret is that Kirby Bumpus, Stanford Class of '08, is my goddaughter. So, I was thrilled when President Hennessy asked me to be your Commencement speaker, because this is the first time I've been allowed on campus since Kirby's been here. You see, Kirby's a very smart girl. She wants people to get to know her on her own terms, she says. Not in terms of who she knows. So, she never wants anyone who's first meeting her to know that I know her and she knows me. So, when she first came to Stanford for new student orientation with her mom, I hear that they arrived and everybody was so welcoming, and somebody came up to Kirby and they said, "Ohmigod, that's Gayle King!" Because a lot of people know Gayle King as my BFF [best friend forever]. And so somebody comes up to Kirby, and they say, "Ohmigod, is that Gayle King?" And Kirby's like, "Uh-huh. She's my mom." And so the person says, "Ohmigod, does it mean, like, you know Oprah Winfrey?" And Kirby says, "Sort of." I said, "Sort of? You sort of know me?" Well, I have photographic proof. I have pictures which I can e-mail to you all of Kirby riding horsey with me on all fours. So, I more than sort-of know Kirby Bumpus. And I'm so happy to be here, just happy that I finally, after four years, get to see her room. There's really nowhere else I'd rather be, because I'm so proud of Kirby, who graduates today with two degrees, one in human bio and the other in psychology. Love you, Kirby Cakes! That's how well I know her. I can call her Cakes. And so proud of her mother and father, who helped her get through this time, and her brother, Will. I really had nothing to do with her graduating from Stanford, but every time anybody's asked me in the past couple of weeks what I was doing, I would say, "I'm getting ready to go to Stanford." I just love saying "Stanford." Because the truth is, I know I would have never gotten my degree at all, 'cause I didn't go to Stanford. I went to Tennessee State University. But I never would have gotten my diploma at all, because I was supposed to graduate back in 1975, but I was short one credit. And I figured, I'm just going to forget it, 'cause, you know, I'm not going to march with my class. Because by that point, I was already on television. I'd been in television since I was 19 and a sophomore. Granted, I was the only television anchor person that had an 11 o'clock curfew doing the 10 o'clock news.

Seriously, my dad was like, "Well, that news is over at 10:30. Be home by 11." But that didn't matter to me, because I was earning a living. I was on my way. So, I thought, I'm going to let this college thing go and I only had one credit short. But, my father, from that time on and for years after, was always on my case, because I did not graduate. He'd say, "Oprah Gail"—that's my middle name—"I don't know what you're gonna do without that degree." And I'd say, "But, Dad, I have my own television show." And he'd say, "Well, I still don't know what you're going to do without that degree." And I'd say, "But, Dad, now I'm a talk show host." He'd say, "I don't know how you're going to get another job without that degree." So, in 1987, Tennessee State University invited me back to speak at their commencement. By then, I had my own show, was nationally syndicated. I'd made a movie, had been nominated for an Oscar and founded my company, Harpo. But I told them, I cannot come and give a speech unless I can earn one more credit, because my dad's still saying I'm not going to get anywhere without that degree. So, I finished my coursework, I turned in my final paper and I got the degree. And my dad was very proud. And I know that, if anything happens, that one credit will be my salvation. But I also know why my dad was insisting on that diploma, because, as B. B. King put it, "The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take that away from you." And learning is really in the broadest sense what I want to talk about today, because your education, of course, isn't ending here. In many ways, it's only just begun. The world has so many lessons to teach you. I consider the world, this Earth, to be like a school and our life the classrooms. And sometimes here in this Planet Earth school the lessons often come dressed up as detours or roadblocks. And sometimes as full-blown crises. And the secret I've learned to getting ahead is being open to the lessons, lessons from the grandest university of all, that is, the universe itself. It's being able to walk through life eager and open to self-improvement and that which is going to best help you evolve, 'cause that's really why we're here, to evolve as human beings. To grow into more of ourselves, always moving to the next level of understanding, the next level of compassion and growth. I think about one of the greatest compliments I've ever received: I interviewed with a reporter when I was first starting out in Chicago. And then many years later, I saw the same reporter. And she said to me, "You know what? You really haven't changed. You've just become more of yourself."

And that is really what we're all trying to do, become more of ourselves. And I believe that there's a lesson in almost everything that you do and every experience, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It's how you enrich your spirit. And, trust me, I know that inner wisdom is more precious than wealth. The more you spend it, the more you gain. So, today, I just want to share a few lessons—meaning three—that I've learned in my journey so far. And aren't you glad? Don't you hate it when somebody says, "I'm going to share a few," and it's 10 lessons later? And, you're like, "Listen, this is my graduation. This is not about you." So, it's only going to be three. The three lessons that have had the greatest impact on my life have to do with feelings, with failure and with finding happiness. A year after I left college, I was given the opportunity to co-anchor the 6 o'clock news in Baltimore, because the whole goal in the media at the time I was coming up was you try to move to larger markets. And Baltimore was a much larger market than Nashville. So, getting the 6 o'clock news co-anchor job at 22 was such a big deal. It felt like the biggest deal in the world at the time. And I was so proud, because I was finally going to have my chance to be like Barbara Walters, which is who I had been trying to emulate since the start of my TV career. So, I was 22 years old, making $22,000 a year. And it's where I met my best friend, Gayle, who was an intern at the same TV station. And once we became friends, we'd say, "Ohmigod, I can't believe it! You're making $22,000 and you're only 22. Imagine when you're 40 and you're making $40,000!" When I turned 40, I was so glad that didn't happen. So, here I am, 22, making $22,000 a year and, yet, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right. The first sign, as President Hennessy was saying, was when they tried to change my name. The news director said to me at the time, "Nobody's going to remember Oprah. So, we want to change your name. We've come up with a name we think that people will remember and people will like. It's a friendly name: Suzie." Hi, Suzie. Very friendly. You can't be angry with Suzie. Remember Suzie. But my name wasn't Suzie. And, you know, I'd grown up not really loving my name, because when you're looking for your little name on the lunch boxes and the license plate tags, you're never going to find Oprah. So, I grew up not loving the name, but once I was asked to change it, I thought, well, it is my name and do I look like a Suzie to you? So, I thought, no, it doesn't feel right. I'm not going to change my name. And if people remember it or not, that's OK. And then they said they didn't like the way I looked. This was in 1976, when your boss could call you in and say, "I don't like the way you look." Now that would be called a lawsuit, but back then

they could just say, "I don't like the way you look." Which, in case some of you in the back, if you can't tell, is nothing like Barbara Walters. So, they sent me to a salon where they gave me a perm, and after a few days all my hair fell out and I had to shave my head. And then they really didn't like the way I looked. Because now I am black and bald and sitting on TV. Not a pretty picture. But even worse than being bald, I really hated, hated, hated being sent to report on other people's tragedies as a part of my daily duty, knowing that I was just expected to observe, when everything in my instinct told me that I should be doing something, I should be lending a hand. So, as President Hennessy said, I'd cover a fire and then I'd go back and I'd try to give the victims blankets. And I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because of all the things I was covering during the day. And, meanwhile, I was trying to sit gracefully like Barbara and make myself talk like Barbara. And I thought, well, I could make a pretty goofy Barbara. And if I could figure out how to be myself, I could be a pretty good Oprah. I was trying to sound elegant like Barbara. And sometimes I didn't read my copy, because something inside me said, this should be spontaneous. So, I wanted to get the news as I was giving it to the people. So, sometimes, I wouldn't read my copy and it would be, like, six people on a pileup on I-40. Oh, my goodness. And sometimes I wouldn't read the copy—because I wanted to be spontaneous—and I'd come across a list of words I didn't know and I'd mispronounce. And one day I was reading copy and I called Canada "ca nada." And I decided, this Barbara thing's not going too well. I should try being myself. But at the same time, my dad was saying, "Oprah Gail, this is an opportunity of a lifetime. You better keep that job." And my boss was saying, "This is the nightly news. You're an anchor, not a social worker. Just do your job." So, I was juggling these messages of expectation and obligation and feeling really miserable with myself. I'd go home at night and fill up my journals, 'cause I've kept a journal since I was 15—so I now have volumes of journals. So, I'd go home at night and fill up my journals about how miserable I was and frustrated. Then I'd eat my anxiety. That's where I learned that habit. And after eight months, I lost that job. They said I was too emotional. I was too much. But since they didn't want to pay out the contract, they put me on a talk show in Baltimore. And the moment I sat down on that show, the moment I did, I felt like I'd come home. I realized that TV could be more than just a playground, but a platform for service, for helping other people lift their lives. And the moment I sat down, doing that talk show, it felt like breathing. It felt right. And that's where everything that followed for me began. And I got that lesson. When you're doing the work you're meant to do, it feels right and every day

is a bonus, regardless of what you're getting paid. It's true. And how do you know when you're doing something right? How do you know that? It feels so. What I know now is that feelings are really your GPS system for life. When you're supposed to do something or not supposed to do something, your emotional guidance system lets you know. The trick is to learn to check your ego at the door and start checking your gut instead. Every right decision I've made—every right decision I've ever made—has come from my gut. And every wrong decision I've ever made was a result of me not listening to the greater voice of myself. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. That's the lesson. And that lesson alone will save you, my friends, a lot of grief. Even doubt means don't. This is what I've learned. There are many times when you don't know what to do. When you don't know what to do, get still, get very still, until you do know what to do. And when you do get still and let your internal motivation be the driver, not only will your personal life improve, but you will gain a competitive edge in the working world as well. Because, as Daniel Pink writes in his best-seller, A Whole New Mind, we're entering a whole new age. And he calls it the Conceptual Age, where traits that set people apart today are going to come from our hearts—right brain—as well as our heads. It's no longer just the logical, linear, rules-based thinking that matters, he says. It's also empathy and joyfulness and purpose, inner traits that have transcendent worth. These qualities bloom when we're doing what we love, when we're involving the wholeness of ourselves in our work, both our expertise and our emotion. So, I say to you, forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you. So, how do I define success? Let me tell you, money's pretty nice. I'm not going to stand up here and tell you that it's not about money, 'cause money is very nice. I like money. It's good for buying things. But having a lot of money does not automatically make you a successful person. What you want is money and meaning. You want your work to be meaningful. Because meaning is what brings the real richness to your life. What you really want is to be surrounded by people you trust and treasure and by people who cherish you. That's when you're really rich. So, lesson one, follow your feelings. If it feels right, move forward. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Now I want to talk a little bit about failings, because nobody's journey is seamless or smooth. We all stumble. We all have setbacks. If things go wrong, you hit a dead end—as you will—it's just

life's way of saying time to change course. So, ask every failure—this is what I do with every failure, every crisis, every difficult time—I say, what is this here to teach me? And as soon as you get the lesson, you get to move on. If you really get the lesson, you pass and you don't have to repeat the class. If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants—or skirt—to give you some remedial work. And what I've found is that difficulties come when you don't pay attention to life's whisper, because life always whispers to you first. And if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists. But, if you ask the right question—not why is this happening, but what is this here to teach me?—it puts you in the place and space to get the lesson you need. My friend Eckhart Tolle, who's written this wonderful book called A New Earth that's all about letting the awareness of who you are stimulate everything that you do, he puts it like this: He says, don't react against a bad situation; merge with that situation instead. And the solution will arise from the challenge. Because surrendering yourself doesn't mean giving up; it means acting with responsibility. Many of you know that, as President Hennessy said, I started this school in Africa. And I founded the school, where I'm trying to give South African girls a shot at a future like yours—Stanford. And I spent five years making sure that school would be as beautiful as the students. I wanted every girl to feel her worth reflected in her surroundings. So, I checked every blueprint, I picked every pillow. I was looking at the grout in between the bricks. I knew every thread count of the sheets. I chose every girl from the villages, from nine provinces. And yet, last fall, I was faced with a crisis I had never anticipated. I was told that one of the dorm matrons was suspected of sexual abuse. That was, as you can imagine, devastating news. First, I cried—actually, I sobbed—for about half an hour. And then I said, let's get to it; that's all you get, a half an hour. You need to focus on the now, what you need to do now. So, I contacted a child trauma specialist. I put together a team of investigators. I made sure the girls had counseling and support. And Gayle and I got on a plane and flew to South Africa. And the whole time I kept asking that question: What is this here to teach me? And, as difficult as that experience has been, I got a lot of lessons. I understand now the mistakes I made, because I had been paying attention to all of the wrong things. I'd built that school from the outside in, when what really mattered was the inside out. So, it's a lesson that applies to all of our lives as a whole. What matters most is what's inside. What matters most is the sense of integrity, of quality and beauty. I got that lesson. And what I know is that the girls came away with something, too. They have emerged from this more resilient and knowing that their voices have power. And their resilience and spirit have given me more than I could ever give to them, which leads me

to my final lesson—the one about finding happiness—which we could talk about all day, but I know you have other wacky things to do. Not a small topic this is, finding happiness. But in some ways I think it's the simplest of all. Gwendolyn Brooks wrote a poem for her children. It's called "Speech to the Young : Speech to the Progress-Toward." And she says at the end, "Live not for battles won. / Live not for the-end-of-the-song. / Live in the along." She's saying, like Eckhart Tolle, that you have to live for the present. You have to be in the moment. Whatever has happened to you in your past has no power over this present moment, because life is now. But I think she's also saying, be a part of something. Don't live for yourself alone. This is what I know for sure: In order to be truly happy, you must live along with and you have to stand for something larger than yourself. Because life is a reciprocal exchange. To move forward you have to give back. And to me, that is the greatest lesson of life. To be happy, you have to give something back. I know you know that, because that's a lesson that's woven into the very fabric of this university. It's a lesson that Jane and Leland Stanford got and one they've bequeathed to you. Because all of you know the story of how this great school came to be, how the Stanfords lost their only child to typhoid at the age of 15. They had every right and they had every reason to turn their backs against the world at that time, but instead, they channeled their grief and their pain into an act of grace. Within a year of their son's death, they had made the founding grant for this great school, pledging to do for other people's children what they were not able to do for their own boy. The lesson here is clear, and that is, if you're hurting, you need to help somebody ease their hurt. If you're in pain, help somebody else's pain. And when you're in a mess, you get yourself out of the mess helping somebody out of theirs. And in the process, you get to become a member of what I call the greatest fellowship of all, the sorority of compassion and the fraternity of service. The Stanfords had suffered the worst thing any mom and dad can ever endure, yet they understood that helping others is the way we help ourselves. And this wisdom is increasingly supported by scientific and sociological research. It's no longer just woo-woo soft-skills talk. There's actually a helper's high, a spiritual surge you gain from serving others. So, if you want to feel good, you have to go out and do some good. But when you do good, I hope you strive for more than just the good feeling that service provides, because I know this for sure, that doing good actually makes you better. So, whatever field you choose, if you operate from the paradigm of service, I know your life will have more value and you will be happy. I was always happy doing my talk show, but that happiness reached a depth of fulfillment, of joy, that I really can't describe to you or measure when I stopped just being on TV and looking at TV as a job and decided to use television, to use it and not have it use me, to use it as a platform to serve my viewers. That alone changed the trajectory of my success.

So, I know this—that whether you're an actor, you offer your talent in the way that most inspires art. If you're an anatomist, you look at your gift as knowledge and service to healing. Whether you've been called, as so many of you here today getting doctorates and other degrees, to the professions of business, law, engineering, humanities, science, medicine, if you choose to offer your skills and talent in service, when you choose the paradigm of service, looking at life through that paradigm, it turns everything you do from a job into a gift. And I know you haven't spent all this time at Stanford just to go out and get a job. You've been enriched in countless ways. There's no better way to make your mark on the world and to share that abundance with others. My constant prayer for myself is to be used in service for the greater good. So, let me end with one of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King. Dr. King said, "Not everybody can be famous." And I don't know, but everybody today seems to want to be famous. But fame is a trip. People follow you to the bathroom, listen to you pee. It's just—try to pee quietly. It doesn't matter, they come out and say, "Ohmigod, it's you. You peed." That's the fame trip, so I don't know if you want that. So, Dr. King said, "Not everybody can be famous. But everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service." Those of you who are history scholars may know the rest of that passage. He said, "You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato or Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love." In a few moments, you'll all be officially Stanford's '08. You have the heart and the smarts to go with it. And it's up to you to decide, really, where will you now use those gifts? You've got the diploma, so go out and get the lessons, 'cause I know great things are sure to come. You know, I've always believed that everything is better when you share it, so before I go, I wanted to share a graduation gift with you. Underneath your seats you'll find two of my favorite books. Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth is my current book club selection. Our New Earth webcast has been downloaded 30 million times with that book. And Daniel Pink's A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future has reassured me I'm in the right direction. I really wanted to give you cars but I just couldn't pull that off! Congratulations, '08! Thank you. Thank you.

Hennessy 校长,全体教员,家长,还有斯坦福的毕业生门,非常感谢你们。感谢你们让我 和你们分享这美好的一天。 我决定透漏一个小秘密给大家来作为这次演讲的开始。这个秘密就是 Kirby Bumpus,斯坦 福 2008 年的毕业生,是我的义女。所以当 Hennessy 校长让我来做演讲时,我受宠若惊,因 为自从 Kirby 来这上学以来,这是我第一次被允许到斯坦福来。 正如你们知道的那样 Kirby 是一个非常聪明的女孩。她说,她希望大家通过她自己的努力了 解她,而不是她认识谁。因此她从来不希望每一个第一次见到她的人知道她认识我。当她和 她妈妈第一次来到斯坦福参加开学典礼时,我听说每个人都十分热情。他们说: “我的天啊, 那是 Gayle King” 。因为很多人都知道 Gayle King 是我最好的朋友。 有些人走到 Kirby 面前,对 Kirby 说: “我的天啊,那是 Gayle King 吗?”Kirby 说: “嗯, 她是我妈妈。 ”然后人们说: “我的天啊,难道说,你认识 Oprah Winfrey。 ”Kirby 说: “有点 吧。 ” 我说: “有一点。你有一点认识我” 。我还有照片为证。我可以把 Kirby 和我骑马时的照片 e-mail 给你们。因此我不仅仅只是有点认识 Kirby Bumpus。我非常高兴来到这里,因为四年 来我第一次来到她的寝室。我为 Kirby 感到自豪,因为她获得了人类生物学和心理学的双学 位。这就是我多么的了解她。我可以叫她 Cakes。 我为她的父母感到骄傲,她的父母给了她很大帮助,还有她的哥哥 Will。我对 Kirby 大学四 年真的没有什么帮助。但是在过去的几周里,每当人们问我在做什么时,我都会说: “我正 准备去斯坦福” 我就是喜欢这样说 Stanford(用一种奇怪的语调) 。因为这是真的,我知道根本不会拿到我 的学位,因为我没有去斯坦福念书。我去了 Tennessee 州立大学。但是我本来不会拿到我的 毕业证,因为我本应该在 1975 年毕业,但是我少了一个学分。我认为我还是会忘了这件事。 你们知道,我不会比得上我的同班同学。因为我已经上了电视。我在 19 岁还是大学二年级 的时候就已经上了电视。我是唯一一个电视节目主持人,虽然有 11 点的宵禁,却做着 10 点钟的新闻。 严肃地说,我爸爸告诉我, “好吧,新闻 10:30 结束。11 点之前到家。 ”但是这对我并不重 要,因为我已经自食其力了。我在走我自己的路。所以我想,我不能让关于我大学的那件事 就这么过去,我还少一个学分。但是我的父亲从那时起却成了问题。由于我没有毕业,他总 是说: “Oprah Gail(我的中间名字) ,我不知道没有学位你能做些什么。 ”然后我说: “但是, 爸爸,我已经有我自己的电视节目啦。 ” 他说: “好吧,但是我还是不知道没有那个学位你能干什么。 ”我说: “但是,爸爸,现在我 已经是脱口秀的主持人了” 。他还是说: “我不知道没有那个学位你怎么去找其他的工作。 ” 在 1987 年,Tennessee 州立大学邀请我回去做他们的毕业典礼演讲。在那时,我已经有了自 己的电视节目,并加入了国家联合会。我制作了一部电影,并被奥斯卡提名,而且成立了我

自己的公司 Harpo。可我告诉他们,我不能去演讲除非我得到那一个学分,因为我爸爸总是 说没了那学位我将一事无成。 因此,我完成了我的课程,上交了我的毕业论文,然后拿到了学位。我的爸爸非常的骄傲。 从此我知道,无论什么事发生,那一个学分是我的救世主 但是我知道为什么我爸爸总是坚持让我获得文凭,因为,正如 B. B. King 所说: “关于学习 的美好在于别人不会把知识从你身上拿走” 学习正是我今天想说的, 因为你们的教育并没有 在这里结束。在很多情况下,这才是刚刚开使。这个世界将会教会你们很多。我认为这个世 界,这个地球,就像一个学校和我们人生的教室。有时这些课程会是弯路和障碍。有时会充 满危机。我所学的应付这一切的秘密就是去勇于面对,正如我们面对大学课程一样。 我们能够充满激情的去生活和自我提高,这就是我们存在的意义。不断自我提高,去追求人 生的更高境界,去追求更高级别的怜悯和自我提高。 我记得我所受到的最大的赞扬就是当我刚刚在芝加哥开始工作时, 我采访了一个记者。 很多 年以后我们又见面了。她对我说: “你知道吗?你一点也没有变。你变得更为自我了。 ” 这就是我们一直努力在做的,去做我们自己。我坚信你们会从每一件做过的事上学到经验, 这样你们就会取得进步。 这样你们丰富了心灵。 相信我, 内在的智慧比外在的财富更加珍贵。 你越是使用它,你就得到更多。 今天我想和大家分享我人生的三个经验。 你们难道不觉得高兴吗?你们是否会反感, 当有人 对你说: “我想分享一些”但事实上却是 10 个经验。你们肯定在想: “听着,这是我的毕业 典礼,不是你的” 。因此这里只有三个经验我想和大家分享。 这三个经验对我的人生产生了很大影响,它们是关于感情,失败和追求幸福。 当我离开大学一年后,在 Baltimore 我得到了一个共同主持 6 点新闻的机会。在那时媒体界 的最大目标就是获得更大的市场,而 Baltimore 是一个比 Nashville 大得多的市场,因此在 22 岁时得到这个机会对我来说非常重要。它那时对我来说它仿佛是世界上最重要的事。 我非常自豪,因为我终于有机会去效法 barbara Walters。而她正是我从业以来一直效法的对 象。那时我 22 岁,每年挣 22,000 美元。我遇到了在电视台做实习生的 Gayle,我们立刻成 了好朋友。我们说: “我的天啊,真难以置信。你在 22 岁时挣每年能挣 22,000 美元。想象 一下吧,当你 40 岁时你每年就会挣 40,000 美元” 当我真的 40 岁时,我很高兴这并没有成真。 这就是我,22 岁时每年挣 22,000 美元,然而,这种感觉并不好。首先,正如 Hennessy 校长 所说,当他们试图让我改名字。那时导演对我说: “没人会记住 Oprah 这个名字。因此我们 想让你改名字。我们已经为你想了一个大家都会记住和喜欢的名字——Suzie。 ” Suzie,一个很友善的名字。你不会厌恶 Suzie。记住 Suzie 吧。但是我的名字不是 Suzie。你

们可以看到,自小我就不怎么喜欢我的名字。因为当你在午餐箱和牌号寻找你的名字时,你 永远也不会找 Oprah。 我从小就不怎么喜欢我的名字,但是当我被告知去改名字时,我想,好吧,那时我的名字, 但是 Suzie 真的适合我吗?因此我想,它并不适合我。我不会改我的名字。我也不介意人们 是否记得住我的名字,这没什么大不了的。 然后他们还对我说他们不喜欢我的长相。那是在 1976 年,你的老板可以那么说。但是如果 是现在的话,那就是一件很严重的事了。可是那时他们还是说: “我不喜欢你的造型。 ”我根 本不像 Barbara Walters。 于是他们把我送到沙龙, 给我烫了发。 可是几天后我的头发一团糟。 我不得不剃光我的头发。 此时他们更不喜欢我的造型了。 因为作为一个光头黑人坐在摄影机 前,我肯定不漂亮的。 比光头更令我讨厌的是我不得不把播报别人遭受的痛苦作为我的日常工作。 我深知我期待去 观察,我的内心告诉我,我应该做些什么了。我需要为他人提供帮助。 正如 Hennessy 校长所说的那样,我播报了一起火灾,然后应当去给受害者拿毯子。由于白 天播报的那些新闻导致我晚上难以入睡。 与此同时我尽量表现的优雅一些,使我更像 Barbara。我认为我可能会成为一个傻傻的 Barbara。如果我做回我自己,我就会成为一个很棒的 Oprah。我努力像 Barbara 那样优雅。 有时我并不读我的稿件, 因为我的内心告诉我这是不自主的。 所以我想为大家播报一些我想 要的新闻。 有时,我不会播报像 6 个人在连环车祸中受伤这类的新闻。哦,我的天啊。 有时出于内心的本能,我不会去播报一些新闻。我还会遇到一些不认识的和念错的词。一天 当我播新闻时, 我把加拿大读错了。 我想这样下去学 Barbara 可不大好。 我应该做回我自己。 但那是我爸爸却对我说: “这是你一生的机会。你最好继续那份工作。 ”我的老板也说: “这 是晚间新闻。你是播报员,不是福利工作者。还是做你的本职工作吧。 ” 我歪曲了这些期待和义务,并感觉很糟。晚上回到家后我会记日记。自从 15 岁时我就开始 记日记了,于是现在我已经有了好几卷日记。我晚上回到家后,我会记录下我是多么的不幸 和沮丧。然后我消除了焦虑。这就是我如何养成了那个习惯。 8 个月后我失去了那份工作。他们说我太情绪化了。但因为他们不想违背合约,他们就让我 去 Baltimore 主持一档脱口秀节目。从我开始主持那档节目的一刻开始,我感觉好像回到了 家一样。我意识到电视不应该仅仅是一个娱乐场,更应该是一个以服务为目的的平台,以帮 助他人更好的生活。当我开始主持节目的时间侯,就像呼吸一样。感觉好极啦。这就是我工 作的真正开始。 这就是我学到的经验。当你做的是一份你喜欢的工作时,那感觉棒极了。无论你能挣到多少 钱,你都会有很大收获。

这是真的。 但是你怎么知道你所做的是对的呢?你怎么知道呢?我所知道的就是你的内心是 你人生的导航系统。当你应该或者不应该改做某事时,你的内心会告诉你怎样去做。关键是 去面对你自己,面对你自己的内心。我所做过的所有正确选择都是源自我内心的。我所做过 的所有错误选择都是因为没有听取来自我内心的声音。 如果感觉不好,就不要去做。这就是我的经验。我的朋友,这个经验会帮你避免很多痛苦。 甚至怀疑都意味着不要去做。这就是我所学到的。有很多次当你不知道如何去做时,什么也 不要做,直到你知道怎么做为止。 当你什么也不要做时,让你的内心作为驱动力。不仅仅你的个人生活会提高,你在工作中也 会获得竞争力。正如 Daniel Pink 在他的畅销书 A Whole New Mind 中所说的那样,我们进入 了一个新时代,一个他称之为概念时代的时代。人们的内心使人与人之间产生隔阂。他说, 重要的不仅仅是逻辑上的,线性的,直尺式的思维方式。移情,快乐,目标和内部特质同样 也有卓越的价值。 当我们做自己喜欢的事时,当我们全身心的投入到工作中时,这些特质就会焕发生机。 因此我对你说, 忘掉那些快车道吧。 如果你真的像飞翔, 就把你的力量投入到你的激情当中。 尊重你内心的召唤。每一个人都会有的。相信你的心灵,你会成功的。 那么我是如何定义成功的呢?让我告诉你,钱很美好。我不会告诉你们成功与钱无关,因为 钱是好东东。我喜欢钱。它能买东西。 但是拥有很多钱并不能使你自然而然的成为一个成功者。 你想要的是钱和意义。 你想你的工 作更有意义。 因为有意义使你的生活更加充实。 你所希望得到的是被信任你珍视你的人包围。 这才是你真正富有的时候。因此, 第一个经验,跟随你的心灵。 如果感觉对了, 就继续前进。 如果感觉不对,就不要做了。 现在我想谈谈失败。没有人他的一生是一帆风顺的。我们都会遇到困难,受到挫折。如果事 情出错了,你进入了死胡同,这正是生活在告诉你是时候改变了。所以,每当遇到困难和危 机时,我都会问它教会了我什么?只要你吸取了教训,你就会继续前进。如果你真正吸取了 教训,你就会顺利通过考验,不用再取经受失败了。如果你没有吸取教训,它会以另外一种 形式给出现在你面前并给你一些补救。 我注意到当你没有仔细对待生活的细节时, 困难就会出现。 因为生活总是提前低声的告戒你。 如果你忽视了这个低声的告诫,过不了多久你就会得到一个惊声尖叫,无论你怎样反抗。但 是如果你不去想为什困难会发生, 而是去反思困难会教给我什么时, 你就会学到你需要的东 西。 我的朋友 Eckhart Tolle。他写了一本非常棒的书,名叫 A New Earth。这本书就是关于让你 的意识激励你去做事。他说,不要去反抗困境,相反,要融入到其中。事情会变的越来越好 的。因为暂时的屈服并不意味着放弃,它意味着一种责任感。

你们当中很多人都知道,正如 Hennessy 校长所说,我在非洲创办了一个学校。我希望给南 非的女孩们一个像你们一样的未来。 我花了 5 年时间来确保学校会像学生们一样好。 我想让 每一个女孩感觉到自己的价值受到重视。所以我检查了每一个设计图,亲自挑选每个枕头, 甚至检查砖块间的水泥。 我知道每一个细节。 每一学生都是我从 9 个省的村落里亲自选出来 的。然而,去年的秋天我却遇到了一个我从未预料的危机。我被告知有一名宿舍管理员涉嫌 性虐待。 你们可以想象得到这是多么令人沮丧的消息啊。首先,我哭了,啜泣了大约半个小时。然后 我说, 我们得面对它。 一个半小时, 这就是你全部所能得到的。 你需要把注意力集中到现在, 现在你因该做些什么。所以我联系了一位儿科创伤专家。我派了一队调查人员。我确定女孩 们得到了安慰和支持。Gayle 和我坐上飞机飞向南非。 整个过程中我都在问自己: “这件事教会了我什么?”虽然这个经历十分困难,但是我学到 了很多。我意识到自己所犯的错误,因为我一直以来都把注意力集中在错事上。我从外向内 建造了那所学校,然而正真对我有意义的是从内向外的去建造它。最重要的是我对正直,品 质和美好的理解。我学到了那个教训。我也明白女孩们也学到了一些事。她们从中恢复了过 来并意识到她们的声音是有影响力的 。 她们的恢复力和精神给了我很多东西, 以至于比我给她们的还多。 接下来是我最后的经验— 关于寻找幸福,我可以谈论一整天,但是我有其他古怪的事要做。 追求幸福并不是一个小话题。但在某种程度上来说它又是最简单的话题。Gwendolyn Brooks 为她的孩子写了一首诗, 诗名是 Speech to the Young : Speech to the Progress-Toward.在诗的最 后她说到,不要为了战胜而生活,不要为了歌曲的结尾而生活,要享受生活。她说,你应当 为了现在而生活,无论过去发生了什么都不应该影响到现在,因为生活就是过好现在。 我想她还说过,去参与一些事。不要仅仅为了自己而生活。我可以非常肯定的是为了追求真 正的快乐,你必须为了一些更有意义的事而生活。生活是互动的。为了前进,你必须后退。 对于我而言,这是人生中最重要的经验。想要获得快乐你必须付出。 我知道你们已经很了解了,因为这个经验已经深深的融入了斯坦福。这个经验是 Jane and Leland 传承给你们的。 因为你们所有的人都知道这座伟大的大学是如何建成的。 斯坦福夫妇 的独子在 15 岁时得了伤寒离开了他们。他们有权利和理由去恨这个世界,但是他们却用优 雅的行动疏导了心中的悲伤。 在他们儿子死后不到一年内, 他们已经这所伟大的大学筹集了 建设经费,并发誓要为别人的孩子做一些他们自己的孩子不能得到事。 这个经验非常明显,那就是,如果你受了伤,你需要帮助他人减轻伤痛。如果你感到痛苦, 帮助他人减轻痛苦。 如果你的生活一团糟, 去帮助其他处在困难中的人摆脱困境。 这样一来, 你就变成了妇女联谊会或是互助会中最伟大的一个员。 斯坦福夫妇遭受了世上父母所能遭受的最大痛苦,然而他们懂得通过帮助他人来帮助自己。 这种智慧渐渐的被科学和社会学研究所证实。 这不仅仅是某种软技能的谈话。 这事实上是在 帮助者的高度,一种从帮助别人而获得的精神大爆发。所以如果你想快乐,去帮助别人吧。 但是当你做好事时, 我希望你不仅仅是为了获得的快乐, 因为我深知做好事可以让你变得更

棒。所以无论你怎样选择,若你能以服务他人为榜样,我相信你的生活会更有价值,你也会 更快乐。 我也很高兴做我的脱口秀节目,那种快乐是一种更深层次的成就感,我很难去表达和衡量。 我决定以电视作为我的职业, 我要用电视这个平台来为我的观众服务, 而不是让电视利用我。 这改变了我成功的轨迹。 我知道无论你是否是一名演员, 你都应该把你的才智贡献给能够鼓舞他人的事业。 如果你是 一名剖析家,你应当把你们的智慧投入到医治他人当中。无论你是否被召唤,你们中的很多 人在经济,法律,人权,科学,医药方面都获得了诸如博士一类的学位,如果你们决定把你 们的技能和智慧奉献给服务他人们, 选择把服务他人作为榜样, 你们的工作就会变成一种天 赋。我知道你们在斯坦福所在的一切就是为了出去找一份工作。 你们在很多方面都得到了提高。 没有其它更好的方式能够分享你的丰富的才智了。 我永恒的 祈祷就是让自己能够为他人提供更好的服务 就让我引用马丁路德金的话来作为结束语吧。他说: “不是所有人都会出名。 ”我不知道,但 似乎今天所有人都想出名。 但是成名也是一种代价。有些人会尾随你到卫生间,听你尿尿。你会尽量尿的轻一些。这没 什么大不了的。他们会对你说: “我的天啊,是你!你尿尿啦。 ” 这就是成名的代价,我不知道你们是否喜欢。 所以,正如马丁路德金所说, “不是所有人都会成名。但每个人都可以变的伟大,因为伟大 是通过为他人服务而界定的。 你们当中学历史的人可能会知道他接下来的话, ” “为别人提 供服务,并不一定要有大学学历,并不一定要主谓一致,并不一定要认识柏拉图和亚里士多 德,并不一定要会爱因斯坦的相对论,并不一定要了解热力学第二定律。你所需要的是一颗 优雅的心灵和充满爱的灵魂。 ” 不久你们就会正式成为斯坦福大学 2008 年的毕业生了。 你们有聪明才智。你们将会决定如何利用它。说真的,你们将会如何利用它呢?你们拿到了 学位。走向社会吧,我坚信伟大的事将会发生的。 你们知道,我一直坚信,如果你和他人分享,那么事情就会变得更好。所以在我离开之前, 我想和大家分享一下毕业礼物。在你们的座位底下,你们会发现两本我最喜欢的书。Eckhart Tolle 的 A New Earth 流行书俱乐部的精选品。我们的 New Earth 广播已经被下载 3 亿次。 Daniel Pink 的 A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future 使我确定我在人 生的正轨上。 我真的想送大家轿车,只是开不过来!祝贺大家!08 年的毕业生们! 谢谢大家。


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